Before I start, let me say that everything I write is just based on my thoughts regarding my own experience. 🙂

When you were young, did you have that moment when your dad told you not to play with *those* cards because they were evil/wrong?

I did.

In the hazy recesses of my mind, I remember coming across a pack of tarot cards in one of our cabinets. Or maybe it was an ouija board. Now I’m second-guessing my somewhat unreliable memory.

For the purpose of this entry, let’s say it was a tarot deck.

I’ve had this preconceived idea that it was immoral. Having studied in a Catholic school from preschool up to high school, I subscribe to the notion that we should trust in God’s plans for us. Though we do not know what that is exactly, we should have faith that it’s what’s meant for us. We do not need to know beyond that. That’s what faith is about after all: believing even without tangible proof.

It wasn’t until recently that I became open to the idea of tarot cards. Maybe it’s because I’m in the process of exploring–exploring myself, my world, and all the possibilities around me. One thing I’ve realized is that I don’t believe tarot is inherently wrong. It’s human nature to question and to pursue answers that make things clearer for us. And I do believe that there are some people who have the gift of intuition.

Tarot isn’t there to provide definite, concrete answers. What it reveals isn’t one hundred percent certain, isn’t written in stone. As my sister’s friend told me earlier, the moment she does her reading, it’s like putting my life on pause. Whatever impressions she has are based on what I am thinking or what path I am on at that very instance. And that means, it changes based on the decisions I make.

Now I wasn’t looking for answers. Yeah, right. I WAS looking for answers, and still am. But I know that I’m not likely to be spoon-fed the directions to the life that I want to make for myself. Confused and quasi-lost as I am though, I thought that I might as well be open to channels other than the norm. I’d like to think of it as a way to instigate thought and reflection. 

After my reading, I must say that I am all steeped in contemplation. I found the reading very relevant to this stage that I’m in now–this transition from the career that I was trained for to the career that I actually want.

It didn’t really tell me anything that I didn’t already know deep down. I’ve questioned this urge that I have to travel, and wondered if it is just my way of putting off the real world for later…or if it is really tied to the career path that I’m meant for. My sister’s friend told me that it’s a mix of both: it’s something that really makes me happy and it’s something that’ll fuel my career. And what I really found amazing was how the cards “showed” that I’d encounter roadblocks along the way, but if I stay positive and “claim” what I want, I’ll find my ultimate happiness. It might sound hokey to a cynic (and I admit, I was that), but what’s the harm in thinking good thoughts, right?

So there, I’m still not sure on what steps to take from here. But it’s definitely fodder for thought. To study again, to look for an official writing gig or to jump right in to traveling once more? You can bet I’ll be updating you on my future plans.

My sister’s friend told me that this is my year of fun, travel &/or relationships. I’m hoping it’ll be all three. Now, I didn’t ask anything about relationships, but I just had to validate this “pregnancy scare” thing that a friend of mine brought up with me. If everything goes right, there isn’t going to be any…but I’m supposed to have a lot of fun nonetheless. If you know what I mean 😉